Doctor Smug

It’s all fun and games until somebody falls in love.

Riley

As a surgical resident, my ego is beyond healthy.So when Daisy, the stubborn and sexy matchmaker, challenges me during trivia night at the local pub, it’s impossible for me to say no.If I win—she owes me three epic dates where I pull out all the stops to woo her.If she wins—no dates and I walk home naked.It’s the summer, what’s an eight-block stroll home in my birthday suit?Since she’s already smitten with me, this is going to be a breeze.How can I say no to a sure thing?

Daisy

Riley’s sizzling looks are nothing compared to his arrogance.His god-complex eclipses his charm.Forcing him to walk home naked is just too tempting to pass up.It’s just a friendly bet.But the stakes grow too high when fate keeps shoving him in my path.I don’t need my matchmaker test to prove that we’re not meant to be, despite what he says.My heart is still recovering from my last dating disaster.I find love for other people, not myself.But I’ll get him to take the test anyway.I’ll show him that we’re wrong for each other.We are 100% incompatible and any attraction is purely physical.At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

**Note, although this book is a standalone, you can find characters that appear in this book in both Snowed In & Set Up, and Hot Dad.

RILEY

Tonight was NOT the night to be bringing in subs. The LA Kings didn’t bring up players from the farm team during the playoffs, and we sure as hell didn’t need to be bringing in noobs on a night like tonight.

I pulled the worn brass door handle of The Old Emerald Pub in downtown Seattle and stood aside so Greg could walk through ahead of me “So if you don’t know what she looks like or what she does for work, can you at least tell me if she’s any good at trivia? You do know this is like the World Series for me. Game seven, Kings vs Rangers. The eighteenth hole, two below par.”

Greg snorted, lifted his chin in greeting to the hostess and headed toward an open four-top table in the dimly lit underground pub. “I don’t think Emily would have invited her if she wasn’t good at trivia. She knows how important this match is to us.”

I took a seat, facing the stage. I needed to get into the zone.

Pub trivia night was no joke. I took this shit seriously.

Greg and I were undefeated all year with our teammates, two other doctors, Filip Renny and Will Colson, but they’d just accepted positions in Africa working for Doctors Without Borders, so now we were down two men.

I had a hard time giving them shit for abandoning us since they were off fixing cleft pallets and vaccinating children in remote villages so they wouldn’t catch polio or some other horrible ailment.

Didn’t mean I couldn’t—and didn’t—grumble their names in the privacy of my own mind. We’d been coming here since January, whenever we had Friday nights off (which we made sure was often) and in the last five and a half months had made a name for ourselves among the trivia crowd.

Normally, it wouldn’t have been a disaster to be down two teammates—Greg and I could hold our own—but we were going up against some guys from a pub across town who’d heard about our success and wanted to make things a little more interesting. A friendly bet of five hundred dollars and paying the winners’ booze tab hung in the balance. If Filip and Will had been here, it would have been like shooting fish in a barrel winning the trivia match, but down two men, I wasn’t nearly as confident. And not being confident in something unnerved me almost as much as the thought of losing to a bunch of lawyers from across town did.

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to rack up my tab tonight—because if we won, the other team would have to pay for it—or if I wanted to play it cool and hope that if, on the off chance, we did lose, karma would have my back and not rob me blind.

“Blonde, brunette, redhead?” I shelled a peanut from the bowl on the table. “I know Emily, and this is more than just someone to come help us win trivia. This is a setup. She works with a shit-ton of guys. She could have invited any one of them, and yet she invited a chick.”

Greg was the picture of innocence and simply smiled.

“Your sister is a meddler.” I popped the peanut into my mouth and chewed. The last thing I needed was some doe-eyed, hopeful woman looking to land a doctor and distracting me from winning this trivia night. “Do I look like I need help with the ladies? I mean, come on.”

Greg’s eyes rolled hard.

“That’s right, big sexy doctor man doesn’t need any help with the ladies,” a fake deep voice said behind us before the back of my head was swatted. “Damn, you’re full of yourself, Pretty Boy.” Emily took a seat between me and her twin brother.

I glanced up at her, ready with a witty comeback, when my tongue doubled in size and searched for a way out of my mouth rather than focusing on forming words.

Behind Emily, blue eyes blinked and a smile curled plump lips framed by freckles. Her face was covered in them. More than the beach had sand. Strawberry-blonde tendrils floated down around her heart-shaped face while the rest was pinned on the top of her head in some weird clip thing.

“Riley, this is my friend Daisy. Daisy, this is my brother’s friend Riley. He’s an egotistical jackass, surgical resident who knows he looks like a baby-faced underwear model. He also has a penchant for cheap beer, expensive scotch, and he’s obnoxiously competitive when it comes to pub trivia.” Emily’s hand waved between Daisy and me. She caught the eye of a waitress and silently summoned her over before glancing back at me. “Does that about sum you up, Ry?”

“Don’t forget playboy,” Greg added with a cheesy smile.

My insides twisted.

Emily pointed at her brother and nodded. “Right. And Pretty Boy, hence the why you call him that at the hospital. Pretty boy playboy.”

Yeah, I fucking hated the nickname Pretty Boy.

The twins needed to shut up and shut up now.

Daisy took a seat next to me, her expression amused but also wary. “Is everything Emily said true?”

I needed to find words. I needed to find good words. Smart words. I could do this. I was a surgeon at one of the best hospitals in the Pacific Northwest. I had good words in my head. Lots of them.

But the words weren’t coming, and all I could come up with was a low, grunted, “Yeah.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

Color bloomed in her cheeks, which only made the freckles stand out even more. “None of those are very good selling points. For a friend, a teammate or otherwise.”

Otherwise?

So this was a setup. I knew it. Emily was such a meddler. Greg was too, though, so I couldn’t rule out his steady hand having a finger or two in this night.

I opened my mouth to respond, but like before, nothing came out. Her expectant gaze on me was so heavy, I thought I might crumple to the ground under the weight of it.

“What can I get you to drink?” the waitress asked, sidling up to our table in all black, her pen poised on a pad of paper at the ready. The pub was filling up. The crowd combined with the music made it difficult to hear people. When trivia started, things would quiet down.

“A pint of Pabst Blue Ribbon,” I said before turning to Daisy, finally finding words again. “Only beer I drink. Keeps me humble.”

Emily and Greg rolled their matching baby blues.

Daisy snorted, but the smile on her face was still there, along with the almost magical twinkle in her eyes, eyes a much darker blue than the twins’. “I’ll have a vodka soda with a wedge of lime, please. In a tall glass with extra ice.”

Emily ordered a rum and Coke, and Greg ordered a rye and tonic. We’d get food later, but for now we needed to talk strategy.

I turned to Daisy, adopting my game face. “How good are you at trivia?”

She and Emily exchanged amused glances, their eyes dancing in a way that meant they were having a full-on conversation without actually saying a damn thing.

Women were terrifyingly good at that.

Finally, she peeled her gaze from Emily to me, though rather noncommittal, and continued to take in the rest of the pub. She shrugged. “I’m pretty good.”

I needed more than that. This game had a lot riding on it. “Yeah? Like how good?”

Her shoulder lifted again, and her head shook gently. “Like I loved Jeopardy growing up, still do. I’m pretty good at geography and pop culture. Know all the words to every Spice Girls song.”

Emily made a noise in her throat that made Daisy slide her a sideways glance and a half-smile.

She was not giving me confidence that we would win this. In the three years I’d been doing trivia night, not once had a question been about a Spice Girls song.

Was she deliberately playing coy? “What do you do for work?” I asked, continuing with the interview.

Please say astrophysicist or professor of economics. I’d even settle for hoarder and reader of out-of-date American history textbooks.

I didn’t get the hoarder vibe from her though. She seemed like she tossed her takeout containers in the recycling and didn’t stack them on a shelf until they formed a leaning carboard tower just in case the craft bug bit her one day.

But then again, people had quirks and secrets about them that often came out of left field. Maybe she was a hoarder with pockets of rodents creating dens in her stacks of takeout containers.

I also wasn’t trying to be an asshole here, even though Emily and Greg were both giving me looks that said I was being one. I just had a lot riding on this trivia match, and I needed to know we had winners at our table.

“I’m a matchmaker,” she said, sitting up straight in her chair so her breasts strained against the sleeveless white button-up cotton blouse she wore. I hadn’t paid much attention to what she was wearing when she walked in. Her face and smile knocked me off guard, and I’d been unable to focus on anything else, but now I could tell she had style and taste. Dark jeans, tight enough they could be painted on, black strappy sandals with a heel and that blouse that I was pretty sure harbored a red lacy bra underneath.

I needed to get my eyes off her chest.

Wait, did she just say she was a matchmaker?

I groaned.

Oh Christ.

“A matchmaker, you say?” Unable to keep the inflection or judgment from my tone. I’d never been the most tactful man.

I had the ego fit for a surgeon, but people said I needed to work on my poker face. Fair enough. Nobody was perfect.

“So what does that look like? You meet people, they pay you and you set them up on dates? Aren’t there free apps out there for that?” I regretted the snort at the back of my throat the moment it happened because Daisy’s eyes darkened and her brows narrowed.

“Something like that,” she said, her tone harsh, reminding me of my mother when I’d pushed to stay up late one too many times as a kid, ultimately snapping the last of her nerves.

“So is this like a side gig, or is the matchmaking business a profitable one?”

The waitress returned with our drinks, and I immediately took a sip of my beer. Call me weird, but to me, there was nothing quite as refreshing or nostalgic as a good, cold pint of Pabst Blue Ribbon. It was what I drank all through college and med school. PBR got me through some tough times and helped me celebrate some epic ones. I couldn’t turn my back on it now that I had money.

Glancing back at Daisy after setting my beer down on the table, I waited for her response. She hadn’t said anything since I asked her if she made good coin in her job. Was she trying to come up with some clever way of saying it wasn’t about the money; it was about helping people find true love?

When she set her glass back down, I heard the sound of ice cubes being chewed. I noticed a small birthmark on the back of her right hand just beneath her thumb. It was shaped like a perfect heart, about a nickel in size and so damn cute. “My latest algorithm is still in beta testing, but so far we’re seeing very good results. We doubled our gross income since last year, and I’ve hired on three more full-time employees. Projections for next year are triple of this year. I also own my condo and have already paid off my student loans. I do okay. What say you, doctor-man, still neck-deep in those med-school loans?” Her confident smile and lifted brow of challenge only drew out a big, genuine grin from me.

I tossed my head back and laughed. “My apologies. I assumed there was no money in the matchmaking business, and I was wrong. How does a single guy like myself hire your company? Do you have a website? What’s the name of it?

“Daisy’s Chain Attraction.” She had a wall up around her now. She was on the defensive.

Shit.

Leaning forward, I planted my hands on the table. “So I just pay you money and then you start sending me women’s numbers?”

To be honest, I’d never met a professional matchmaker before, and the fact that she made as much money as she said she did had me all the more curious to know how she found people their happily ever afters.

Perhaps this wasn’t the setup I thought it was. Maybe meeting Daisy was a sign I needed to shut down my Huukup app profile and start looking for something real and with substance. Maybe I’d just found the person to help me do that. For a price, of course.

Unless …

I dismissed that crazy thought before it had a chance to fully form in my mind.

I was not here to be set up; I was here to fleece a bunch of attorneys out of their money, and now that we were down two of our regular teammates, I needed to get my head in the game even more. But a second glance at Daisy’s smile had me feeling a whole new kind of unease. I’d only had a sip of my beer, and already I felt lightheaded and like I’d just shotgunned a six-pack.

Her voice had me mentally slapping myself to clear my head. “You pay me money, fill out a very extensive, very personal, almost invasive survey, and then we match you with women in our system. The men do not get numbers or profiles or even pictures of the women until the woman gives the green light. If the woman is interested, we set up the first meeting in a safe, public location, and we have an escape plan in place in case she feels unsafe and needs a way to end the date safely. We do this for every first date for every client.”

I let out a whistle. “That’s hands-on customer service right there.”

“It’s why I charge what I do. I take the happiness and safety of my clients very seriously. This isn’t a hookup app. It’s people seriously interested in investing the time and money to find someone they’re compatible with.”

“So what got you into that?” I had her talking again, which was good. Her responses remained frosty though. Her arms had crossed in front of her chest, and she was leaning back in her chair, almost glaring at me.

“I have a master’s in psychology with a minor in statistics and an MBA. I have a killer team of computer techs working on my algorithm, as well as trained marriage and couples counselors helping me match my clients. The algorithm does most of it, but before we let the women know of their matches, the counselors preview their profiles to make sure there are no weird outliers that could result in incompatibility between the couples. I got into this because I’m good at reading people and setting people up. We have an eighty-four percent success rate. But I believe that with our updated algorithm, we could bring that rate up to eighty-six by this time next year.”

Jesus Christ. Now I felt like a real tool. She actually had her shit together.

“Could I take the survey?”

“That’ll be five hundred bucks,” she replied quickly.

My eyes widened.

“Fifteen hundred if you’re a woman.”

Holy crap. I blew out a breath that rattled my lips, kind of like a horse. “Surely you know just from meeting someone their level—even just superficially—of compatibility with someone else, no?”

Crystal-blue eyes narrowed, and her face darkened. “What are you getting at?”

I shrugged, giving her another one of my smiles that made the hospital nurses blush. She appeared immune. “You and me. How would we score on your very extensive, very personal, almost invasive survey?”

Daisy wasn’t blushing. She also wasn’t smiling. Her level gaze and bored expression had the hair on my arms prickling up. But my pulse was racing. “I can confirm right here, right now, Doctor Smug, that you and I are one hundred percent, irrefutably, undeniably incompatible.”